I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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