u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
