just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
