Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
