There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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