they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
