Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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