4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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