??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
