At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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