i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
