His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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