maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
