Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
