Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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