you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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