Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize