There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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