Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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