brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I skipped work to stalk him.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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