hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
