he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize