Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
