I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
