I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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