You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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