hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
