she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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