He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
