It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize