this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
