walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
