She went from zero to smokin in five shots
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
