I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
