so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
