i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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