I love black thongs
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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