i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
