Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
