I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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