drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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