i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
