tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
false alarm, still single
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