Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
