We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
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I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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