To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
