Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
