she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
