At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
