You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
