Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
