I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
