Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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