I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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