I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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