Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
