I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
40s are totally the cure
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
