Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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